Just another day

Ever since I had said I was moving July 1st, both Jack and Dad have been pretty nice to me.  I know it won't last, but looking on line at places for rent with 3-4 bedrooms 2 bath and a large spacious living room, kitchen and den with a garage that locks is hard to find for a reasonable price.  And one with pets???? Whoo Whee you pay $25.00 - $35.00 for each pet each month.  I have been thru the ads on the computer and all I have found is $1150 and up.  With one guy only able to pay $300 per month, another girl paying $400 per month and I can only afford $600 per month, that gives us a ceiling of $1300 including all the pet rents.

Since I don't see us all three finding a place, my back up plan is to move up with my mom. It does not matter to me where I move, it will be away from here.  Even though the men here are being nice, I know it won't last.  I have put up with my dad yelling because my outside light came on in the night while he was out walking.  Instead of just telling me it was on, he started yelling and throwing a fit. I very calmly got dressed and went up to turn the light off and when I got back down to the house my Dad continued to yell and throw a fit for another 20 or so minutes.

Another instance was when I had 2 low wattage bulbs on in my room and was laying down.  My Dad seen both lights on threw a fit cause he thinks I need one light even though it don't light up the whole room, which was why I had both lights on, so I could see.

At each and other instances like these, my dad told me maybe I did not belong down here, and this last instance where he sided with my brother on an issue of my friend not being allowed on the property, it broke the camels back, I'm leaving.

I Just Don't Know

I used to wonder why my life is in the condition its in.  I went from  City living to Country Living, which is one grocery store day each month, which is usually ALL Shopping is done on this one day a month.  I'm not able to go back to my TriMet job and work down here (Josephine County) really sucks.  Now I have signed my death sentence to stay here cause I need a place with a barn/stall/running yard and pasture. I have just bought a horse, well a couple of months ago, and he is the sweetest thing.  He is calm, eager to please, and has a beautiful gait.

I am sooo looking forwards to working with him.

Now Dad tells me that I don't belong here, that I should not have moved in.  He waits till AFTER I buy a horse to tell me this.  I don't know if he wants me to stay or to leave.  We rarely have a conversation cause they always turn into arguments and Dad yelling and kicking things.

Leaving July 1st

Well its been a while since I have wrote on here.  Good News, I am moving to Lebanon OR with a couple of friends so I can look for a place to buy.  My friend Anthony has agreed to look after my horse Toc till I find a place where I can have him.  I will miss all my family and friends but will not miss the chaos and stress of where I am living now.  I can no longer take the argueing, and being told I don't belong here, I don't do anything, I am dispensible.  I don't really like it down here, so I am leaving July 1st.